A Client's Journey of Self Love
“Some season’s are for growing, some are for blooming. No matter what season I’m in today; I Am enough, I matter, I have value, I belong, my life has meaning.”
At one point, not very long ago, I would have read the quote above and thought to myself “Tell that to_________.” Not even aware that I didn’t need validation from other people outside of me in order to feel “enough.” I was afraid to truly ask myself “Am I enough?” At the time I wasn’t sure what loving myself felt like, or what not loving myself felt like. I was totally unsure where to begin down the road of self love. It was when I started working with Erica, and she was able to help me work through, and understand my energy. She was able to give me tools to become more conscious of my energy, and techniques to be a better of observer of my thoughts and actions.
“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts.” ~ Buddha
I would find myself looping negative mantras about myself, especially when I wouldn’t meet other people’s expectations. These mantras would send my emotions spiraling downward into a pit of self pity and self worthlessness. I knew I needed to change these thought patterns, so I began implementing simple tools Erica had taught me. I started to catch the negative self feedback, STOP, and reverse the mantra…”I Am enough, I Am not my thoughts!” In the beginning, it did little to help my emotional state, but I knew it was true. During that emotional state, while my mind was looping false negative statements, I would stop and say “I am enough” and there was this tiny space inside of me of satisfaction and truth. It was present just enough for me to discern the difference between loving myself and not loving myself. It was present enough, to keep reminding me “I Am enough, I Am not my thoughts!” As I am growing in this journey of self love, This space of satisfaction and truth has grown as well. By reversing my mantra, I have been able to release and clear so many self sabotaging thought patterns. This clearing has made the space inside that allows God’s love to shine not just on me but through me more and more.
“Just as a snake sheds its skin, we must shed our past over and over again.” ~Buddha
Embarking on this journey of self love and discovery is one of the finest gifts you could give yourself, and those around you. It may not be wrapped up in a tidy box with a pretty bow. It usually presents more on the side of a Jack in the box, or can of snakes; but no matter how ugly, or frightening, or shameful, or sorrowful it presents, when you choose to open yourself to it and not push it away the gift is revealed. When we shed light on the parts of our past that have caused shame, sorrow, fear, or guilt we are able to heal. A good friend of mine always tells me, “You cannot heal what you keep on hiding.” We don’t always know why we hold on to patterns that are not serving our greatest good, and may feel frustrated on where to start the healing.
Take comfort in the recognizing that there is presently a pattern that is not serving you. Congratulations, you’ve already started the healing process! The rest is divine timing, you can’t force the snake to shed its skin before it is ready. You may never have complete clarity on the initial event, or you may need help or guidance in remembering the initial event; but you will know and have clarity when you are ready to go forward with healing those pasts. Yes, it can be like a can of snakes where many things come up at once to heal. It may be messy and awkward for a moment or so, but WOW when you get on the other side of it. The space inside continues to grow.
“Perhaps we should love ourselves so fiercely, that when others see us they know exactly how it should be done.” ~ Rudy Francisco
As I keep moving forward, healing thought patterns, or behaviors that do not serve me, I realize I am not only pulling this energy out of myself, I am pulling this energy out of those around me and beyond my inner circle. If I were to leave this world, and teach my children through my life one lesson; that lesson would be to live passionately. There are going to be hard times and challenges in so many aspects of our life. When we choose to do something that we are passionate about and brings us Joy (No matter what that looks like) we tap into that open space inside ourselves where God’s love shines through us. It is through that passion that we expand, and express and extend ourselves, and touch others with God’s love. It is when we stand in our own truth, that nothing stands in the way of God’s Light shining through and we are our most genuine self! So I will leave you with this:
“The purpose of life is know yourself, and love yourself, and trust yourself, and be yourself.” - Yogi tea tab